礼尚往来，当物品冠以“礼”，顾名思义，已经不是普通的物品，而是一种具有特殊符号意义，即具有“礼”性质的物品了。而“礼”在我们的社会里，就是强调“往来”。正像《礼记》中所说：礼尚往来，往而不来，非礼也；来而不往，亦非礼也。然而，这样的往来又是为了什么呢？礼尚往来用英语怎么说呢？

What is the exchange of gifts

什么是礼尚往来

In the social sciences, a gift economy (or gift culture) is a society where valuable goods and services are regularly given without any explicit agreement for immediate or future rewards (i.e. no formal quid pro quo exists). Ideally, simultaneous or recurring giving serves to circulate and redistribute valuables within the community. The organization of a gift economy stands in contrast to a barter economy or a market economy. Informal custom governs exchanges, rather than an explicit exchange of goods or services for money or some other commodity.

Various social theories concerning gift economies exist. Some consider the gifts to be a form of reciprocal altruism. Another interpretation is that social status is awarded in return for the gifts. Consider for example, the sharing of food in some hunter-gatherer societies, where food-sharing is a safeguard against the failure of any individual’s daily foraging. This custom may reflect concern for the well-being of others, it may be a form of informal insurance, or may bring with it social status or other benefits. Because of the (future) benefit that is received from these actions, gift economies are still based upon trade, but without explicit returns from exchanges.

A gift economy normally requires the gift exchange to be more than simply a back-and-forth between two individuals. This notion of expanding the circle can also be seen in societies where hunters give animals to priests, who sacrifice a portion to a deity (who, in turn, is expected to provide an abundant hunt). The hunters do not directly sacrifice to the deity themselves.

Many societies have strong prohibitions against turning gifts into trade or capital goods.

Additionally, in some kinds of gift economies, gift recipients are expected to give something in return, such as political support, military services and general loyalty, or even return gifts and favors. This was common in warrior societies where kings and chieftains gave freely to their followers and could expect their loyal service in return. Such systems have social sanctions built in to punish freeloaders or miserly chiefs. A default punishment would be to halt gifts or services from one party to the alleged party in wrong. Typical sanctions might also include a bad reputation, formal eviction from the lord’s hall, a challenge to a duel, or public ridicule.

礼尚往来（the exchange of gifts）是指互通有无（mutual exchange of needed products），在礼节（courtesy）上重视有来有往，现也指以同样的态度来对待对方。“尚 ”意为注重。

与“礼尚往来”相关的故事：春秋时期(the Spring and Autumn Period)，孔子(Confucius)在家收弟子开坛讲学(give lectures)，引起了鲁定公的重视，经常到宫中讲学。季府的总管(general director)阳虎特地去看望孔子，孔子借故不见他。他知道孔子最讲究礼尚往来的，一次，特地给孔子留下一只烤乳猪，终于得到孔子的回访。

礼作为一种社会行为(social behavior)的规范，倡导了人与人之间的交往，而以礼的方式来交往，便会增进人情，增进社会的凝聚(cohesive force)。所以，礼物是一种以礼行为的规范物，目的是为了社会的整合。在送礼这样的日常行为中，人际行为就被社会规范化(standardization)了，不会送礼，变成了不会做人，最后形成好像是只讲人情(human relationship)的文化。当礼品不是自然真情的容器，反倒成了应有之情的容器时，就会变得包装精美，腹中空空。